Oh my god it’s been a year?
That was simultaneously very fast and very slow. Happy end of the world springtime to those who celebrate!
It’s crazy to think that it’s been one year since I started paying Squarespace to host this silly website. Since then, a lot has happened! Before I lose anyone, let’s get right to the point:
If you wanna keep reading, let’s dig in and recap (and let’s use emoji’s instead of bullet points so you’re unsure if this was AI generated or not):
🍩 Over 85 donuts have been measured and added to my growing database
🤖 I created a donut measuring machine that many argue is more valuable than the dispenser
🛠️ I’ve refined the geometry of the donut hole-der and it’s really great now
🫐 I’ve come around on blueberry munchkin’s but I think it’s a version of Stockholm syndrome
🏭 I’ve received quotes for mass production of the device and it’s quite reasonable
⚖️ Utility and design patents are both pending, and it was pretty expensive
🏪 I have a mockup of the packaging and it makes me giggle
🤩 I have sexy renders and prototypes of what the final device will look like
🎵 We have a goddamned theme song, and it slaps
💬 I’ve presented on various podcasts and at universities about designing this product
💥 I recently became the recipient of a t-shirt cannon for top secret donut related activities
🎥 A group of local college students are making a documentary about my relentless quest
👴 I’m losing my hair and might consider shaving it soon
📢 I’m giving a talk at an engineering conference soon and I’m nervous about it
✋ I have heard absolutely nothing from anyone at Dunkin’
🛥️ Still no boat
In the interest of overdoing everything, here’s my flow chart of success:
Notice that failure is not an option here.
Let’s look at what the marketing team at Dunkin’ has done in the last year:
I’m not ashamed to say I bought an iced coffee this winter just so I could get a single Dunkin’ glove.
I’m not sure what they were thinking with the Banana stuff though. It’s not their finest work, but I’ll let it pass. Clearly, this team likes to have fun and they don’t take themselves seriously! Just like someone else I know.
And let’s not forget about this:
Did I help inspire this monstrosity? I’d like to hope so! We need more wearable food dispensers. So… what’s next?
I need your help!
Radio silence from Dunkin’ means I need to take matters into my own hands. This is where you come in.
Please consider preordering the donut hole-der for one United States Dollar ($1 USD). That amount of money can buy you almost nothing these days, so please give it to me instead.
Why? It shows me that you’re serious about actually purchasing one of these Bad Larry’s. If enough of you do this, it will be the push I need off the cliff of craziness into manufacturing and selling them. (It’s also fully refundable, and will be applied to the final price of the unit).
Please share this with friends, family, and neighbors you have to smile and be nice to.
I’ve created a few fun colorways with names and colors that are inspired by the brands you know and love, but far enough away that I hopefully don’t get sued:
So - if you’ve been with me all year or are just tuning in and are massively overwhelmed, here’s the best way to show your support (god, I feel like Terry Gross during an NPR pledge drive):
Let’s get that goddamned boat.
💗Sam
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